Check out the results from the Washington Post's latest Style Invitational "seeking cynical definitions a la Ambrose Bierce ... looking for jaded drolleries". Such as:

• Peacetime: When there are no wars anywhere you care about
• E-mail: An urban legend delivery system
• Telemarketer: A Caller ID salesman

For further edification, you can read Bierce's Devil's Dictionary here (black-on-white HTML), here (white-on-black HTML), here (plain text, yet oddly double-spaced), here (formatted for PalmOS readers), or find other versions.